less then 7 months

so...

its been over a month now that me and ash are done

the reality is there 

and for the first time, im totally cool with it

id love to go out to day but i doubt i will

ive only been on this "move forward" crusade for about 2 days

but the songs helping me include:

my typical angel - the rocket summer

redemption song - bob marley

world - sick puppies

waiting - green day

a scared girl called me yesterday

begged me for some advice

for some company

so i walked to her house wondering why i was going

and she cried

and cried

screamed how the world was unfair

she punched me

kicked me a couple times

then just sort of collapsed in my arms

she gave ma a kiss on the cheek about a half hour later

said i was amazing

then asked me why i wasnt dating anyone

i shrugged

she laughed "theyre either gay or youre losing your touch"

waving i stepped out her apartment and started walking home

i never spoke a word at her house

truth be told i wasnt even in the room

the neighborhood

the country

my mind was racing a mile per second

and my curiousity was keeping pace

small questions like

"whos your bestfriend?"

"are you ready to leave... alone?"

"adulthood is right around the corner, prepared?"

"do you love anyone?"

"still planning on running from your problems?"

nicole, ozzy, davey and evan are my best friends

i am not ready to leave but i accept its coming closer everyday

no, but even i i thought i was id be wrong

yes, the love is there and it wont be leaving anytime soon

dont you get it, i AM the problem?

so its 10:25 a.m

im the happiest ive ever been

thinking about the future

the past

and the filthy, fury, and frenzy that will come to me

youre gonna miss me one day

<3