So I sat down and had a talk with a chick I barely know and she made me realize something.
I tend to define myself by my relationships.
See Ash, even if I got together with her today and get everything I secretly want (but wont admit to desiring) and we sort out all of our shit doesn't mean I will be fixed.
I've got other fears, ambitions and goals.
I [don't] know what kind of life I want
I can't beging to imagine the sort of house that my family would want to live in
The amount of money I'll have in 6 years (or 6 months)
There's no epiphany really
No "holy shit, I've figured it out," rant
What happened between us isn't the whole story, hardly the ending. I suppose with enough time I would've worked that out myself.
I now (sorta) understand that just because I go all cold and icky around the edges when thinking about doesn't mean you (or anyone else) do[es].
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