the many phases

I've done so many awesome things in my life

DRUG-FREE dboy
Bass player
Card stealer
Electronics repairman
Tutor
Blogger
Fighter
Skater

And all of it comes to nothing really
Just memories

You were always just a door for me
A door that appeared so I could dissapear
That's some shit isn't it

I keep trying to erase you
But you're written down in ink

Fighting is my coping mechanism
In those 2-15 minutes I'm fucking fre
You don't exist
The contract doesn't exist
Dropping out isn't a worry

Just breathing
Circling
Picking my punched
Takedowns
Blows to body to shrug off
Punches to the face to push through

I spent all day today skipping
Chilled with ozzy, daisy, and some peoples

And it always, always, always comes to the thought of you... and if I'm willing to not lie to myself, him.

-xo

p.s listen quietly while reading this and you'll hear my heart breaking.