Monday, October 20, 2008

life sucks, then you die

Can't sleep
Don't really want too

Either my dreams are horrible and I can't go back to bed
Or they're so beautiful I wish I hadn't opened my eyes

Every now and then the real world is a dissapointment

Nikki and I had an amazing conversation
It was about whether or not we could just leave it all
Jump into our favorite movie
Our favorite game
Our favorite anime
Etc.,

And we both agreed we would do it in a second

Spend the rest of our lives in a universe of our choosing with EACH OTHER?!

Perfect

But...
We'd lose a lot

There are people I would hate to leave
My friends
My family

Ash...

We laughed tons at the thought of leaving
Somehow I doubt I would stay here

A whole new world
A whole life ahead of me
With one of my best friends ever

It would be amazing

Maybe one day I will be able to make decisions and not look back...
But until then I'm living the life of full of the safest kind of danger

I would willing give it all up for the chance to go back 12 months and 20 days so I could have a whole day to think about what I was getting myself into

I don't regret it
But fuck if it didn't make things difficult

Currently: watching Noein, missing Ash, waiting to slip into a dream world worth staying in

-xo

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